Bunnymark
by LilMissLibra
Summary: "Listen, Eyebrows," Denmark began, staring sternly into his hands folded on his lap, "I have a request. It's very important." "Well, out with it, mate! What could be so important that you would call me for?" "I need you…to turn me...into a bunny." Crack DenNor fic for Norway's Constitution Day!


"W-what is it, Denmark?" England asked nervously, eying the other blonde country over his cup of tea. "You sounded so urgent when you called, is something wrong?"

"Listen, Eyebrows," Denmark began, staring sternly into his hands folded on his lap, "I have a request. It's very important."

"Well, out with it, mate! What could be so important that you would call me for?"

"I need you…to turn me…into a bunny."

"Wha…wait, what?" England set his tea down before he threw the cup. "Did you just ask me…what I think you asked me?"

"Yes," Denmark replied, bringing his clasped hands under his chin. "Can you do it?"

"What? Don't ask such strange things! And stop acting so serious about it!"

"But I am serious!" Denmark whined, his stern face breaking into a childish pout. "I want you to turn me into a bunny!"

"Why in the world would you want to become a rabbit?!" England looked at Denmark as if he had suddenly turned into a rabbit of his own accord.

"Because Norway loves bunnies," replied Denmark, smiling slightly to himself, "and it's his birthday today."

"That's…that's not a very good reason!"

"Aww, come on, Eyebrows! Please?"

"No! And stop calling me 'Eyebrows!'"

"Hey, Britain! What's up?" America shouted as he sauntered into the room.

"Wha…? America? What are you doing in my house?"

"I just came to say hi! I'm on my way to a meeting with France. So what's going on?"

"This idiot wants me to turn him into a rabbit."

"Well why don't you?"

"Why the bloody hell would I?!"

"Aww, come on, Britain!"

"Fine! If it gets you both out of my house!" England pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. "But I will warn you, Denmark, all magic comes with a price—"

"Hey! You stole that from one of my shows!" America exclaimed.

"I did not, you git! And it's true!"

"What's the price?" Denmark asked, folding his hands under his chin again.

"You won't be able to speak, and the spell will only last until midnight. You will also have to find your own way home; I won't transport you, and you obviously won't be able to drive."

"No problem!" exclaimed America before Denmark had a chance to respond. "I can take you to France with me!" Denmark looked at his watch. It was 10:34; he had plenty of time to get to Norway's house.

"Okay, let's do it!" he said.

England, sighing again, left to get his spell book. He returned shortly with the heavy, leather-bound tome. He spent a little time searching for the right spell. When he found it, he nodded to Denmark, who braced himself for the transformation. "Just so you know," said England, squinting his eyes at the Nordic country, "I'm doing this for my benefit, not yours."

"Um, okay…"

England began to chant, and pink clouds surrounded Denmark. When the spell was finished, they dissipated to reveal a small, yellow rabbit surrounded by Denmark's clothes.

_Woah, this is cool!_ Denmark tried to say. It came out as only a squeak.

"Aww, you're pretty cute like this, Den!" America exclaimed, petting the tuft of fur on the rabbit's head that looked similar to Denmark's hair.

_That's the point!_ Out came another squeak. The rabbit looked at England.

"I told you that you wouldn't be able to talk," England said, sitting on the couch to rest from the spell-casting. "Now will you two please get out of my house?"

"Sure thing!" America replied, picking up the rabbit. "I think I'll call you Bunnymark!"

* * *

"Well, this is probably the closest I can get you," America said after they got out of the Channel Tunnel in northwestern France. "Do you think you'll be alright from here?"

Denmark nodded after being set on the ground. _I'm sure I can catch a ride somehow._

"Okay, it's 11:05 right now, so you should have plenty of time. Good luck!"

Denmark looked around for a ride and found one in a truck. He jumped in the back and rode with it across the border into Belgium. The truck stopped in Brussels, a lot sooner than Denmark had hoped. _I guess I'll just find another ride._ Just as he began to look for another north-bound truck, he heard a familiar voice.

"Ooh, a bunny! I'll take you to grote broer!"

Suddenly, Denmark was picked up. He looked up at his blonde haired captor, and she smiled down at him.

"You're such a cute bunny! But for some reason, you look strangely familiar…" She shook her head. "Grote broer will love you. He loves all bunnies!"

_No, Belgium, put me down! I have to get to Norway!_ Denmark's thoughts came out as a series of small squeaks, making Belgium smile wider.

Fortunately for Denmark, she took him to her brother's house in Amsterdam. Unfortunately for him, Netherlands decided he wanted to keep his newfound bunny friend.

_No, Ned! Put me down!_ Denmark thought as he squirmed in his friend's lap. _Man, this is _not_ the lap I wanted to be in today!_ Netherlands calmly petted the wriggling rabbit.

"Are ya hungry or somethin'?" he mused. "Ya know, you kinda remind me of Den. Wonder what that idiot's up to today…"

_Hey, I'm not an idiot!_

"Huh, you sure squeak a lot." Netherlands shrugged and returned to petting the strange tuft of hair on his new rabbit's head. "I guess I'll go get you some lettuce or somethin'. Don't go anywhere." He set Denmark down on the couch and left the room. Denmark hurriedly hopped across the room to the front door. Of course, it was closed, so he couldn't get out.

Netherlands walked back into the room to find his new pet jumping at the doorknob, reaching out its little bunny paws for it. "That's weird, I've only been smoking cigarettes today," he mumbled to himself. After setting the lettuce down, he walked to the door and bent down to pick the rabbit up. He felt a little disconcerted when it looked him straight in the eyes. "Do ya have someplace better to be?" The rabbit nodded fervently.

Netherlands jumped, almost dropping the poor thing. "Y-you can understand me?" Again, the rabbit nodded. He set it down and chuckled lightly. "What the hell am I doing, talking to a rabbit?" He grabbed the lettuce and held it out to the little ball of fluff.

_Ned, you've got to let me out!_ Denmark tried to say, but again it came out as a squeak. He kept forgetting that he couldn't talk. _Norway would think I'm such an idiot if he could see me right now…_That's when the Danish bunny strengthened his resolve. He looked Netherlands in the eye again and squeaked.

Netherlands cocked his head at the strange rabbit. "You don't want lettuce?" It shook its head firmly. "Well, uh, what do you want?" The rabbit looked at the door and then back at him. "You wanna leave?" It nodded.

He sat on the couch again and stared at the bunny. "How is it you can understand me?" It stared back silently. "Oh, duh, you can't talk. Did someone turn you into a rabbit?" A nod. "Well, uh, were you human?" Did the rabbit shrug its shoulders? "Are you…a nation?" A big nod. Netherlands examined the rabbit closer. Of course, the tuft of hair. "Denmark?" The rabbit nodded and jumped. It almost seemed like it was making Denmark's stupid grin.

"Ah, man, we gotta get you turned back to normal. I'll take you to England, or somethin'." Denmark, Bunnymark?, shook his head vigorously. "No? Should I take you to Norway?" He nodded. "Okay. Wait, isn't it his birthday or something? Is he gonna be mad if you show up like this?" Bunnymark shook his head. "I guess he'll probably like it, since you can't talk."

* * *

They had been in traffic for hours and had just made it to the ferry in Hirtshals. "I guess I should've taken a flight or somethin'," Netherlands said. "Even with our ability to travel faster, I probably won't get you there 'til after 11."

_Oh, no, this is bad! The spell will be wasted if I don't get there before midnight! _But Denmark couldn't do anything except relax on the way to Larvik. He tried to communicate to Netherlands how much of a hurry he was in, but his friend wasn't paying much attention. He left to go flirt with girls in his broken Danish, and Denmark wished he hadn't taught him so much.

Finally, the ferry arrived in Norway. Netherlands sped through the country to Oslo, finally getting the hint. When he pulled up to Norway's house, it was 11:30. The other Nordics' cars were blocking the driveway, so he parked on the street.

"I'll walk you in, I guess," Netherlands said. Denmark shook his head. "You wanna hop over there yourself?" A nod. "Okay, whatever suits ya." He leaned over to open the passenger door for Denmark, who quickly jumped out. He hopped across the yard as Netherlands drove away.

The front door of the house opened, throwing light across the yard. Denmark stayed out of the way as Sweden, Finland, and Iceland walked out.

"Thanks for coming," Norway called out to them from the doorway. They waved and got into their respective cars.

Norway sighed, scanning the dark night for any sign of the missing Nordic. He looked down when he felt something nudging his foot. A rabbit looked up at him. "Cute," he said, bending over to pick it up. "Did ya come here to wish me happy birthday?" He was amazed at how calm the fluffy creature was, but he was pretty in-tuned with nature.

He carried the rabbit into his house and sat down on the couch to pet it. "This is the first time that idiot has missed my birthday," he said quietly. The rabbit looked up at him, and he noticed a strange tufted of hair on its head. "That kinda reminds me of him. But that'd be impossible…" He went back to petting the rabbit for a while.

It was almost midnight. Norway was laying down on his couch, snuggling with his newfound bunny friend. It licked his cheek and snuzzled against him as his eyes drifted closed…

Norway was suddenly awakened by the sound of the clock striking midnight. He opened his eyes to see pink clouds surrounding the rabbit laying on his chest. It got a lot heavier, and the clouds cleared away to reveal a naked Denmark.

Denmark beamed down at the confused Norwegian, barely noticing his lack of clothing. "Happy birthday, Norge! Gratulerer med dagen!"

He watched as his best friend's confused gaze turned into his usual blank expression. Norway suddenly sat up, dumping Denmark on the floor.

"You're late, idiot," he said coldly.

"Aww, don't be like that, best buddy! I had to beg Eyebrows to turn me into a rabbit, and then I had to make my way here to see you!"

"Why the hell would you go to all that trouble for me?"

"Because it's your birthday, and I know how much you like rabbits."

"You're so stupid, bror," Norway sighed. However, he leaned down to hug Denmark, whispering "Takk" just barely audibly.

The End.

* * *

Thanks for reading, and happy birthday/Constitution Day to Norway! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it!


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